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Making it happen in the Real-World

Lesson 3:

Reading Material: 

You know as well as we do that learning some new information, while important, is only a part of the equation.  Most people know what to do.  Of course, people can share new perspectives and insights that help us have better ideas about what to do, but if knowing the "what" was all it took, many more people would succeed in their lives than those that actually do.  

 

Knowing what to do is only a small part of the solution.  The most important part of the solution is having the courage and motivation to implement those changes on a consistent basis and this is where most people falter.   

This is why we thought it was so important to not only give you the skills and strategies but have a real conversation about where you will struggle to implement these changes in your life. 

1. You will be forced to confront your need for comfort.  And at times, you will be uncomfortable. 

 

One of the most primary reasons that people don't actually succeed in finding Love is because their need for comfort is so overwhelming that it becomes more important than their desire for Love.  

People are usually comfortable in 2 ways: 

1.  They are comfortable alone and rarely meet new people or have the opportunity for new relationships.

2. They are comfortable in their patterns, meaning that they meet new people but it is usually the same kinds of people and their relationships all have similar themes and destructive patterns.  

 

Either form of comfort is equally destructive to the prospect of true Love and all of the ways in which you can free yourself from these cycles of comfort involve a severe disruption to your comfortable lifestyle.  At the point of taking the risks and actions necessary to create new, healthier patterns, most people will give up or become defeated.  The longer you allow your old patterns to continue, the more complacent you become in them and the more challenging they are to shift.  This will be one of your greatest challenges. 

2. You will make mistakes.  You will have "failures."  It is a part of the process and it is a learning process.  You have to be strong enough to learn from your mistakes.     

Often, not always, a major part of the process involves facing up to things you have been avoiding in your comfort.  A big part of that is rejection, another is heartbreak.  There are almost always "failures" that happen.  You fall for someone, develop feelings for them, and it doesn't work out or you realize they aren't who they seemed to be.  You may have situations where you put yourself out there and are disregarded or ignored.  Rarely does everything go perfectly and often it doesn't even go well.  There are times that you may feel disrespected and there will certainly be times that you'll have to set some powerful boundaries and maintain them.  

It's unfortunate but these are facts of the modern dating world and no matter how conscious you are, you are sure to experience them, at least to some degree.  Maybe you've already experienced some of this, maybe a lot of it, and it's caused you to lose some hope--that's where the challenge lies.  You have to be able to face up to this unfortunate reality and not be defeated by it.  You can't allow it to make you believe that Love isn't real or that there are no good people out there.  You can't allow it to make you afraid to try again.  Part of the process is making mistakes, learning from them, and becoming better at it as you do.  

        

You have to be incredibly clear about why you are doing this and what you are looking for.  And you have to believe that it is real and you will find it.  If any unfortunate situation destroys your belief, it will defeat you.  Sadly, many have been so defeated in this way that they will never find Love.   

Confidence, Clarity, and Power. 

Our primary focus in our EPIC LOVE Programs is to create an unshakeable sense of these 3 elements.  The skills and strategies we discussed are useful and they do work but without a strong internal sense of confidence, clarity, and power, they are impossible to implement effectively.  Until you develop this, you will always be overcome by the obstacles you confront.

Confidence is what comes with the certainty of knowing what to do and having the courage to do it.  We create confidence by defining specific actions, conversations, boundaries, etc. that you can take to get you moving towards the Love you desire.  We begin with simple steps and work our way up from there.  As you do this continually, you become confidently empowered, you develop a powerful belief in yourself that spills out into your relationships, and you develop the courage to overcome the obstacles you have to face.

Clarity comes from knowing exactly what you want and how to identify it.  Many of the dead-end relationships that people get involved in result from a lack of clarity on the front end.  We begin by identifying the qualities of the relationship that you want, and then we explore how you would recognize those qualities in a person.  We share early signs that you can look for to identify that someone does or doesn't have the qualities you look for in a person.  Many people know what they want in a partner but don't know how to recognize those things in someone from their first few experiences together.  Once you develop the ability to do that, you will be more clear than you've ever been in your life.  You'll make clear decisions without doubting yourself. 

Power is essentially creative ability.  It is the knowledge that you have the ability to create the Love you dream about, not like a concept, but more like an internal knowing, a truth.  Something you can hold on to even when you feel discouraged or defeated.  In many ways, it is what you have once you create a high level of Clarity and Confidence.  When you become certain of your power and you own it, that is when you've reached the level at which you can finally create the Love you dream about.  This is when you are able to clearly communicate, create boundaries, and ask for commitments.  This is the point at which you are able to face rejection and not be hurt by it.  You can walk away from an unhealthy relationship and know that you're doing the right thing.   

   

Until you can:

1. Say with absolute certainty that you know exactly what you're looking for in a potential partner and are able to identify in less than 3 months if a person has the potential for a Life Partnership--

2. Courageously create and maintain boundaries in dating while kindly but firmly approaching those difficult conversations with someone you're seeing and confidently walk away without looking back when someone is not able to give you that--

3. Live your life in your most fully expressed and passionate way without being stopped by what people are thinking of you or the fear of how something "looks" to others, being grateful and joyful on the journey while knowing with certainty that you will find what you're looking for--

 

There is work to do.  

 

And we would Love the opportunity to do that work with you!

  

When you choose to work with us, you are no longer alone in this process.  We join the journey with you, implementing strategies that we've presented in this class (and more) while working with you step-by-step to cultivate your worthiness in a way that naturally allows you to access Confidence, Clarity, and Power.