Dating is soooo hard!!!
There aren't any good people out there!!!
I'm never going to meet someone!!!
Have you found yourself saying things like this before?
Truth be told, this is how most people experience dating:
When you see that this is the experience most people are having around dating and relationships, it's not surprising to find that so many people end up alone.
The truth is nobody has the emotional fortitude to withstand this experience for years, so if you don't learn how to shift your relationship with dating and make it become fun and easy, you will eventually give up and resign yourself to a life alone.
Eventually, the comfort that you find in avoiding it starts to look way more attractive than the pain you experience when you put yourself out there. More and more you retreat into the comfort and predictability of your routine and finding Love starts to seem farther and farther away. The years pass by and one day you realize that your time has run out and it's unlikely that you'll ever meet someone.
This is a very real experience for a lot of people.
Love requires effort, but that doesn't mean it's hard. In fact, one of the things we focus on with our clients is making the whole process easy, inspiring, and fun!
Together, we transform the dating process from one of rejection, exhaustion, and defeat, to one of having a great time, meeting great people, experiencing massive personal growth, and at the end of the day finding someone that you can truly share a life with.
In truth, this may be the only difference between those who actually meet the right person and those who, after an endless string of heartbreaks, give up altogether.
In this post, we're sharing with you 3 simple ways that you can transform your relationship with dating and start to have a lot of fun with it in no time.
1. Explore your passions and do it with others
Most people are so concerned with everyday survival that they give very little consideration to what they are actually passionate about. Passion is essential to a healthy relationship and if you think you'll suddenly become passionate when you meet someone, you are mistaken.
We tend to think of dating as a chore, of forcing ourselves to go out of our way to meet people that we probably don't really want to meet anyway. No wonder it ends up being lame and awkward.
Whatever you Love to do, there are great people that also Love those same things. In fact, you can meet a ton of great people simply by doing things that you Love to do!
Identify interests and activities that inspire you and find ways to engage in those things that include other people.
If you like outdoor activities like hiking, biking, or water sports, join groups that do that. If you like to read, join a book club. Instead of going to the gym alone, join a fitness class or a yoga studio.
Try a social app to find groups that connect you with people that share your interests--art, theater, movies, games, food, fitness--and online resources for connecting people with shared interests.
If you're social distancing, find online discussions that you can participate in and make connections. This is actually one of the best times to create conversation with people.
Take your existing interests to another level. Take a class or workshop on one or more of your interests. Take something that you already enjoy and do more of it, but in a more social way. Put yourself in environments with people where you have things in common and conversation is easy.
The trick is to grow personally and socially at the same time. You grow your network and your confidence.
You are fueling your passion, bettering yourself, and tangibly taking action to make a significant change in your Life. Most people just talk about change and never follow through.
To make a change you have to ACT and one of the easiest actions you can take is to do things that bring you joy.
2. Forget about Love and start looking for friendship
We thrive when in relationship with other people. If you want a fulfilled life, it can't happen alone. Many people are looking for the most significant relationship of their life when they haven't even succeeded in their more commonplace ones.
Once you're out there engaged in activities that are exciting and fulfilling to you and meeting new people in the process, you will have surrounded yourself with people who are doing the same. If you're doing this right, then you are finding yourself in environments surrounded by conscious people who are also interested in bettering their lives.
This is an excellent environment to create friendships.
Not the kind of friendships in which you sit around and gossip together, but real friendships, the kind that support you in living a life that is truly happy and fulfilled, the kind in which you have conversations with each other about things that are really important and you get to know each other on a real level.
Dating is really not what you think it is--or at least not what most people think it is.
It's simply about being with people, being with a lot of people.
You want to meet a lot of people and practice being in relationship with them. It doesn't really matter if they are men or women; ideally, you'll have a good mix of both. It doesn't even matter if you're attracted to them or not. Clearly you're not going to marry someone you're not attracted to, but that doesn't mean you can't have an amazing friendship.
Dating is not a mad search for "The One" in a massive sea of people. Dating is learning to live a truly fulfilled and expressed life while also learning how to be really good at relationships so that when "The One" shows up, you're ready for them.
If you want Love, practice Love. Create relationships and learn to be really good at them. Every friendship along the way is practice for The One. Every day that you choose to do something that brings you joy and fulfills you, you are creating a fulfilling life. As you learn and grow within yourself and with others, you become the person that the person you want is waiting for.
3. Don't make such a BIG DEAL out of it
By following the first 2 suggestions, you will naturally find yourself in relationship with many great people. If you're focused on being a friend to them instead of trying to get them to be something for you, they will Love and value that friendship.
In this environment, you will be surrounded by opportunities for Love.
You're going to receive invitations and be included in things. When you are invited out to places where people will be--SAY YES AND GO! Every time you make a new friend you connect yourself to an entirely new network of people they know. You'll make friends, you'll meet their friends and their friends' friends.
And, of course, you'll meet people that you're attracted to. If you treat them the same way you treat everyone else--like a friend, not overly eager or obsessive, they will probably like you as well. See if they'd like to meet you for coffee--this does not have to be a big deal at all!
If they don't want to, that's fine, because you didn't make a big deal out of it to begin with.
Meet them for coffee, spend 30 minutes. If there's chemistry, stay for another 30. If not, say thanks and move on with your life. If you like them, text them at the end of the day telling them how much you enjoyed their company and that you'd like to do it again. See what they say. Again, if they don't want to, it's not a big deal because you didn't make it one.
People are people and here's what they are not telling you: They want what you want. They want friendship, connection, and Love. You know this because it's what you want too. Learn how to give that to people and they'll want to give that right back to you. Keep doing this and you'll meet incredible people, have a lot of fun, and build amazing friendships.
If you are consistent in this you will meet someone who's perfect for you. You only fail when you don't try.
These are the dating strategies we use in our programs. I know we make it sound easy but believe me, we also understand how much people have to work through along the way, and that's exactly what this program is for!
We work with you around actively implementing these strategies while also learning how to maintain boundaries and commitments in the process. We hold you accountable to progress while working with you to overcome the fears, doubts, and frustrations that are holding you back.
In working with us, we promise to completely revolutionize the dating game for you, to increase your confidence, freedom, and joy, and that you'll meet someone that you can truly have a lifetime Love with! <3
Thank you so much for enjoying our content! Our greatest joy comes from knowing that people like you are using it to transform their lives and relationships and that the world is becoming a better place because of it.
We know the feeling of being alone, of struggling through what seems like an endless series of dead-end relationships, of waiting for the phone to ring, of being rejected and let down again.
We know what it's like to go to bed alone each night wondering if that will ever change and fearing that it might not.
We know these experiences all too well and that is why we do the work we do. We want you to know that you can find Love, that just the application of these simple tools and practices can make a complete difference in every aspect of your Love life and ultimately lead you to the lifetime partnership you so deeply crave.
You're not in this alone. We're here for you <3
Please keep enjoying our content and if you'd like to learn about joining one of our coaching programs, click here.