In case you haven't noticed, we are smack in the middle of the most insane year of most of our lifetimes. It seems that almost every day we are receiving news of some new crisis that is going to change our lives forever. People are experiencing a range of emotions from extreme scarcity to extreme joy and the only thing we are certain about it how uncertain the future really is.
It's easy to go into crisis mode in the midst of all the events that are happening (some might even say it's irresponsible not to) and with everything that's changing you may be experiencing your search for Love as more difficult than ever--we know a lot of people are.
You may think that Love and dating are the last things you should be thinking about right now, telling yourself there are so many more important things at hand. We can understand why you might feel that way, of course, but we also understand that now more than ever most people want good company, friendship, and companionship.
We also see that times of change are times of great possibility, and when you are in crisis-mode you are more likely to miss a possibility that you could have seized.
If you're feeling hopeless about Love right now, we want to assure you that all is not lost, that there are just as many opportunities for Love as ever. We also want to encourage you to stay committed. Don't let the uncertainty of things make you doubt that a positive outcome for you is coming.
In light of everything that's happening right now, we think that it is important to share some hope and positivity. There are scary things on the news, but we are seeing beautiful things every day right in front of us and especially with the clients we work with.
People are still finding Love in the midst of what's happening, still living their lives in joyful and powerful ways, and even though we are going through massive individual and collective challenges, people are growing through these challenges and becoming better than ever before.
20/20 also represents clear vision. Now, we don't believe in coincidences--it's no accident that we're going through what we're going through right now.
This week, we want to share some tips that we're using with our clients to navigate 2020 in a powerful way to ensure that you don't end the year alone.
We Need Connection Now More Than Ever
Love and connection are basic human needs, nobody can thrive without them. If you've ever wondered what your deep desire for a life partner is all about, it's really as simple as that.
We all want the feeling of being connected to something secure, safe, and Loving. We all want to know that we are important, that we matter, something that can only be recognized in relationship with another person or other people. Nothing quite satisfies this need like a Loving intimate partnership. Knowing that someone has chosen you, is committed to you, and will be there for you through thick and thin fulfills these deep human needs in a way that no other kind of relationship can.
This is why intimate, romantic relationships can be so beautiful and also so painful. They deal with those things that are most personal to us and touch the deepest parts of who we are. They open us in a way that no other relationship does and therefore can hurt us in a way that no other relationship does.
2020 offers an opportunity for connection in a way that we've never had before. We have been stripped of so many distractions. Where we used to have an excess of ways to occupy ourselves and ignore our inner loneliness, in many ways we are now forced to face it.
If you are alone right now or in an unhealthy relationship, you are surely feeling it more than ever. If you have the courage to own it, naturally, you are craving connection more than ever. If that's you, we promise you're not alone in that feeling.
The dating world in the past has largely been made up of people who did not respect each others' need for Love and connection, often manipulating and taking advantage of that need. People are getting smarter about this and their tolerance for BS has dropped considerably which makes it challenging for people who want to play games.
Those who are looking for authentic connection and are willing to respect that need in others have a lot of opportunities to find it right now because so many people are waking up to how much they truly crave it.
This is a time for us to start connecting in a new way, in an authentic way. The same old dating games might not work but that's a good thing. If you want an authentic, vulnerable, and honest relationship, we are positive there is someone nearby who is wanting the same thing and we think it's easier then ever for you to find each other.
2020 Represents Clear Hindsight
You've certainly heard the phrase "hindsight is 2020". We find it such a fitting term for what we've seen happening this year. Personal growth and development have been on the rise for some time now as we have started to recognize that another fundamental human need is meaning, that there has to be more to life than the scramble for survival most people have lived in for centuries.
Part of what 2020 is all about is recognizing our mistakes and coming to terms with the errors of our ways. We are seeing this on a collective level as cracks in our economic foundation and racial injustices are coming to light. But, if you haven't noticed, many people are coming to the same recognition in their personal lives as well.
People are slowing down and taking stock of what is truly important to them, making more time for the small things in life that they had previously neglected, taking time to connect with friends and family they may have lost touch with.
People are also recognizing their mistakes in relationships. We are seeing this more than ever in the work that we do: Marriages that were based on surface needs and wants are falling apart and both partners are learning to find their happiness elsewhere. Couples who have had underlying challenges that could be resolved are being forced to face up to and work through them, and as a result, their relationships are growing deeper than ever. To a great extent, we've also been going through this ourselves in our own relationship. We've seen people finally recognize that they have been entertaining someone for years that would never give them what they want and they've chosen to walk away, only to find the relationship that they were meant for shortly after.
It's time to get honest about what you want, what's really important, and what you've been avoiding. It's time to recognize the mistakes of the past and choose not to make those same mistakes again.
If you have the courage to do this yourself, this is the optimal time to connect with people who are doing the same. We can't think of a better foundation for a new relationship.
As we've already stated, the dating world is changing right now. We are looking at the mistakes of our past and learning from them, realizing that life is too short to waste and that we really want something deep and meaningful. The old ways and means will not continue to work like they used to, but if you're ready to create something authentic and real, you're going to find that more easily than ever before.
It Might Look Different, That Doesn't Mean It Can't Happen
Dating in 2020 certainly doesn't look like going out to the club or the bar to meet people as most bars and clubs aren't open or are limiting capacity. Going out to meet new people can be scary when you're trying to protect yourself and your family. Even if you're willing to take the risk, where do you go? Dating with a mask isn't very sexy after all.
We've shared some creative ideas with you, and we believe these ideas will help you if you use them, but we thought it equally important to address some real-world challenges.
How do you date in 2020?
Let us first say that you have to decide for yourself what the line is, what you feel safe with, and what is the responsible thing to do with respect to your health and that of your community.
While we agree that we should all be responsible citizens, we don't think that this is a time to stop living, creating, or dreaming. This is a time to adapt to what's happening and to be creative in the way that we carry out our intentions.
So here are some things that our clients have been using successfully to date in 2020:
Facetime has been very helpful. Personally we see nothing wrong with getting together in person 1-1 or in small groups while observing recommended precautions, but we do think it's a good time to be a little more careful than you might normally be. Why not have your first and maybe second dates over Facetime? Get to know this person a little better before you meet them in person.
You might hesitate to request that of someone, but we think it gives you a huge advantage. Someone who doesn't care enough about getting to know you to have a virtual date first isn't really that interested in a relationship. We often talk about how to test people to see if they're serious--we think this is a great example of a test.
Online dating has been getting better results than ever. So many people come to us and say online dating is awful and that they never want to try it again, but we think this is a really good time to give it another chance. Sure some people use it for hookups and will continue to do so, but if you know what your boundaries are and how to create authentic conversation, you will easily identify those who aren't there for the right reasons.
We spoke earlier about people who are now recognizing their need for connection because some of their distractions have been taken away and they can't occupy themselves the way they used to. Where do you think they are looking for that connection?
Our world is largely virtual and that's becoming more prominent with the changes this year. Dating is no exception and if you aren't willing to engage with online dating, you are closing yourself off from a wealth of possibilities. Even more than that, app developers are recognizing the need for authentic connection and are creating apps that are more geared towards that. The landscape of online dating is changing and if you know how to use it, it can be an excellent tool.
Outdoor activities are a bigger hit than ever. You've surely recognized that the parks this year are packed, partly because people are feeling the need to reconnect with nature and partly because many other activities are still restricted and even discouraged.
Some great first in-person ideas right now would be a walk in the park, a picnic, a hike, or paddleboarding. After you've connected with someone through text and video-chat and determined that they actually are someone you'd like to spend time with, these are some great places to start. In fact, ideas like these are more conducive to authentic connection and real conversation than many more traditional first date ideas.
This is a time that calls for adjustment, not resignation. It is a time for us to recognize what we really want and to cultivate the courage to go for it, a time for us to learn the skills necessary to adapt to our changing world so that our futures can offer us the happiness and fulfillment that we hope they will.
Love in 2020 looks different than it used to, that much is obvious. If you've allowed this change to make you think it's impossible, stop convincing yourself of such a limiting idea. The more authentic you become about what you want in a relationship and the more courage you develop to go for it, you can be certain that someone else is doing the same.
If you can start to believe that 2020 is your year to find Love, you can prove it to be so.
We'd love to be a part of that journey.
We hope our observations of what is taking place this year have helped to inspire you about what's possible for you, but we only shared a few things in this post. Those who have joined our Epic Love programs this year are seeing incredible results and we think it's a great time for you to get started.
Click Here for more info on our programs.
Thanks for reading! May your 2020 be full of magic! <3
Thank you so much for enjoying our content! Our greatest joy comes from knowing that people like you are using it to transform their lives and relationships and that the world is becoming a better place because of it.
We know the feeling of being alone, of struggling through what seems like an endless series of dead-end relationships, of waiting for the phone to ring, of being rejected and let down again.
We know what it's like to go to bed alone each night wondering if that will ever change and fearing that it might not.
We know these experiences all too well and that is why we do the work we do. We want you to know that you can find Love, that just the application of these simple tools and practices can make a complete difference in every aspect of your Love life and ultimately lead you to the lifetime partnership you so deeply crave.
You're not in this alone. We're here for you <3
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