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Shane Kohler

How to Make a Great Man Love You and Only You


Let's start with a few important points before we dive into this topic...


This post is designed to be a step-by-step guide for how to have a man fall in Love with you. It's not designed to tell you how to get a man to like you or how to get a man's attention or approval.


It's not even designed to tell you how to get a specific man to like you (maybe one that you're thinking about). If you are looking for some quick tips on how to get some guy that you're interested in to pay attention to you, this post isn't for you. We don't teach that because to be honest, there's no way to do that without it being completely disempowering, and we're not here to disempower you.


What we are going to reveal in this post is the specific process of how to meet an honorable man, one who will respect and appreciate you and will want to spend his life with you, the kind of man with whom you could have a family, travel the world, and create your dreams.


Sometimes following these instructions means that you will lose that guy that you're thinking about right now, the one that you're clinging to, hoping it will work out, and even though you know you deserve better, you're afraid there's nothing better out there.


Sometimes this process means you have to choose to give up on a person rather than giving up on your dreams.


We promise you one thing: this process will work, as long as you still have time to implement it, but it will force you to challenge yourself in ways that you may be avoiding, and you are avoiding them because you're afraid to pay the cost.


Even though you may be afraid to apply some of the concepts we are presenting, if you listen to your heart and you trust yourself, you will see the truth in what we're saying here and you'll understand what you have to do.


So let's begin. We're going to share a step-by-step process for meeting a good man, falling in Love, and creating a conscious relationship that will last a lifetime.



Step 1: Lose the need for any man's approval.


We've heard it said many times that girls like bad boys. It is one of the truest things ever said: Girls like bad boys. But the opposite of this is also true: Women like good Men.


We're not speaking in terms of age here, we are speaking in terms of a person who has "come into her own" so to speak. Someone that knows who she is, what she stands for, and what she expects from men has lost all attraction for the "bad boy."


Let's call out about this "bad boy" conversation for what it really is:


It is the feeling of not being worthy projected into your relationship. It is the lack of personal internal validation which then begins seeking that validation from another person.


It's the idea that: "When I can get this person who treats me like crap to Love me and be kind to me, then I will be worthy."


And also: "Because I do not feel worthy already, I have to put myself in situations in which I am constantly living out the need to prove my worthiness."


Weak men surround themselves with women who are trying to get their approval. It's the law of attraction--people with low confidence will draw to them other people who reflect that low level of confidence.


In the instance of a good-hearted woman entertaining a toxic man, striving to prove that she is worthy enough for him to change and become the man she really needs in her life, we have a woman using that man to validate her feelings of unworthiness while he uses her to validate his feeling of not being enough of a man. As long as neither of them recognizes that they deserve better, they will continue to hurt each other, and this cycle will continue indefinitely.


The truth is, even if he one day becomes the man she's always wished he would be, if she hasn't changed, she will lose interest. She will still need a relationship that forces her to constantly fight to be "enough". This is why overcoming that need for approval from any man is the essential first step.



Step 2: Recognize the difference between a "Nice Guy" and a Committed Man


In this paradigm, women tend to look at the good guy as being boring, lame, unexciting, needy, a pushover, etc., and in all fairness, what we tend to think of as the "nice guy" usually is all of these things.


There is the weak-willed man who lets a woman walk all over him in his attempts to have her affection, but he is really just the male equivalent of the woman who is allowing toxicity in the hope that one day her guy will become the man she wants him to be.


The "nice guy" is spineless, pathetic, a pushover, unconfident, and desperate for Love. But there is another kind of man that many women don't really recognize--a third kind of man, apart from the "nice guy" and the "bad boy".


There is the Committed Man. He is courageous, gentle, Loving, kind, supportive, and vulnerable, but not a pushover. Many women, however, because of their attraction to the "bad boy" mistake a committed man as being a "nice guy."


When a committed man is into you, he makes an honest effort to be with you. If you overlook him, he loses interest because watching you try to validate yourself in toxic relationships is unattractive to him. He has too much dignity to wait around hoping that you'll pick him.


Step two is to identify that you want a relationship with a Committed Man, to understand that the only thing a committed man will find attractive is a woman who understands her own worthiness.


It is becoming a woman who expects to be treated right and appreciated, understanding that nobody's approval is worth you diminishing yourself in any way.



Step 3: Be open, vulnerable, and challenging.


You're probably thinking, "I know all of this already" as most powerful women do.


Most powerful women have recognized that a Committed Man is what they are really looking for and are unwilling to accept mistreatment from anyone. If that's you, pay really special attention to this piece because this is where most powerful women fail.


Being powerful doesn't mean being tough. To make a man Love you, there is a balance to find between being open, vulnerable, sexy, flirtatious, and feminine, while still being an absolute challenge.


Committed men want a challenge. They have worked hard in their lives and they know that nothing worthwhile comes easy. They want to work for you, they want you to be the reward for their efforts. They want to please you and make you happy. And this is something that you have to learn to give them.


But let's make a very clear and important distinction here--we're not saying to play hard to get. To play hard to get is to be challenging with no reward. If you are challenging a committed man without rewarding him for the challenge, he will feel defeated and lose interest in the relationship.


The trick is this: Give him a challenge, see if he steps up to it, and when he does, reward him.


For example, let's say you've been texting with someone for a while and the conversation is great, you're ready to take it to the next level. Throw out a challenge. Say something like, "So, Mr., are we going to text for the rest of our lives or are you going to ask me out?"


That is a great example of the balance we're speaking of here. You're being sexy, flirty, fun, and still challenging. You're drawing a line--if you want this relationship, you're going to have to do some work for it. If he takes you up on the challenge, you reward him. He gets a date with you and you show up absolutely delightful and show him a great time. Any man who doesn't rise to your challenges is demonstrating that he's not a committed man.


One of the most destructive habits we've seen women have in dating (and relationships) is the expectation that her man should just know what she wants. FALSE. Not only is he not a mind reader, but if you're waiting for him to figure it out rather than asking for what you want, you never give him a challenge that he can rise to, and therefore he can never be rewarded either.


Now you're not getting what you want and neither is he. He feels defeated like he doesn't know how to please you and you're frustrated because you feel like you're not that important to him.


Require a man to prove himself to you by rising to your challenges. When he does, authentically appreciate and reward him for it. Ask for what you want and allow him the opportunity to give it to you. Do this from the beginning and continue throughout your relationship. A committed man will fall in Love with you because he knows that he is respected and appreciated. You will be happy because you have a man who wants to make you happy.



This is truly the process that will make a great man Love you and only you. And the process can be summed up simply like this:

  1. Know your worth and expect to be treated accordingly.

  2. Know the kind of man you want to be with and recognize that only a certain kind of man can give you what you really want.

  3. Learn the balance of challenge and reward. Only entertain men who rise to your challenges and then reward them for doing so.


As long as you believe you are worthy of less, you will settle for less and you will suffer through situations that reflect this. As long as your attractions reflect your need for validation, you will pursue relationships with destructive people, believe their lies, and tolerate their games.


If you lack the confidence and power to challenge a man to step up for you, you will never know who is sincere and who is not and until you know how to reward him for the effort he makes for you, you will never make a good man feel Loved in relationship with you.


This is the essence of what we teach in our Epic Love Programs. We focus intensively on worthiness while learning the strategies and skills that create and maintain a successful relationship. If you want to streamline this process for yourself and have us on your team as you create the Conscious Relationship that you truly deserve, click here, to schedule your call with us.


Thank you for reading, and lots of Love <3






Thank you so much for enjoying our content! Our greatest joy comes from knowing that people like you are using it to transform their lives and relationships and that the world is becoming a better place because of it.


We know the feeling of being alone, of struggling through what seems like an endless series of dead-end relationships, of waiting for the phone to ring, of being rejected and let down again.


We know what it's like to go to bed alone each night wondering if that will ever change and fearing that it might not.


We know these experiences all too well and that is why we do the work we do. We want you to know that you can find Love, that just the application of these simple tools and practices can make a complete difference in every aspect of your Love life and ultimately lead you to the lifetime partnership you so deeply crave.


You're not in this alone. We're here for you <3


Please keep enjoying our content and if you'd like to learn about joining one of our coaching programs, click here.




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