The people we work with are usually very powerful people in most respects. They are successful in their lives and are pretty good at getting what they want.
One of the biggest frustrations we confront with them, though, is how they are mystified that they haven't been able to apply the same creative power to their Love lives.
Can you relate?
You may have noticed that the ways of getting what you want in relationships don't always work in the way you might think they should. You may have created a lot of success in your career, for example, or with your family; you may have been able to make every area of your life spectacular in every way, and still this one area eludes you.
How do you REALLY find and create true Love?
It's not for lack of effort--we know you've tried everything under the sun--but "putting the work in" simply isn't enough in this area. Maybe you think it's about luck and that you've just been unlucky with the people you meet, but it's actually not that either.
There is an element of chance in that you never know when or where you might meet the right person, and yet we sometimes find that the "right person" is actually right in front of us all along--we just haven't been able to see them that way, so they aren't a possibility.
Creating Love is actually about positioning yourself so that you have the maximum amount of probable opportunities to meet the right person. That doesn't happen by normal dating tactics or sheer force of will.
There are two elements that must be highly optimized to find the Love you're looking for and until they are, all efforts will be wasted. If you're struggling with meeting the right people, you feel like there's no one out there for you, or you have decided to give up on the dating thing altogether, this is where you need to look.
You're in for a very special post--We are giving away the mechanisms by which we help our clients find True Love every time. If you learn to do this, you will quickly begin meeting quality people and before long, fall in Love with someone who has the promise of lasting.
So read on as we explain how to optimize the two essential elements of conscious dating so that Love effortlessly makes its way to you.
These two elements can best be described as context and strategy.
You may see that one of these areas is actually working very well for you, and you may find that neither of them is. Both are essential, and having just one is not enough. To really be successful in finding and creating lasting Love, you must have both.
Let's begin with context.
Context includes your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and fears in regards to dating and finding Love. To find and create True Love, you must have all of these mostly positively oriented--meaning you must think about dating and relationships in a positive manner.
--You must fill yourself with good feelings about it.
--You must have beliefs about it that support positive thoughts and feelings.
--While you may have fears, they must not be determining factors in how and what you do.
If you look at how most people are framing relationships for themselves it's easy to see that they are way off contextually.
To think about dating in a positive manner is to consistently have ideas about dating and relationships that create a sense of power and confidence in you. These ideas leave you with the feeling that you can have this, that it can happen for you.
Now think about how often you tell yourself things like:
"This will never happen for me."
"There are no good people out there."
"Why do I even bother?"
"Is there something wrong with me?"
"Maybe I'm meant to be alone."
These thoughts, which most people are thinking constantly, are actually pushing you further away from the Love you desire. They are causing you to see it in your own mind as a futile and hopeless endeavor.
How could anyone seriously engage in an endeavor that they see as hopeless? It would make no sense.
Thinking about relationships in this context will make it next to impossible to meet someone, and when you do meet someone, they will surely validate your negative, indifferent, underwhelming ideas about dating.
Your feelings are intricately connected to your thoughts. If you hold on to defeating thoughts you will feel in ways that naturally make sense to those thoughts. If you think, for example, that "all men are liars", then when you meet a man you will feel suspicious, unsafe and guarded. In general, you will feel insecure because you are thinking the thoughts that give rise to that kind of feeling.
When you are feeling guarded and insecure, you can't create a thriving relationship. You will likely attract and be attracted to other people who are feeling the same.
So rather than building each other up as you should in a relationship, you will tear each other down. If you do meet someone who is not operating in this manner, you will likely sabotage the situation as those thoughts and feelings do not allow for the possibility of something great to happen or develop.
Beliefs are the source of your thoughts and feelings. Think of it like this: if your thoughts are a tree and your feelings are the leaves, your beliefs are the soil. Your beliefs are the habitual thought patterns that you are used to, and what grows from the soil can only be as healthy as the soil itself.
This is where we do a lot of work with our clients--in the uncovering and re-defining of the beliefs that are preventing them from having a thriving Love life.
If you find that more than 50% of the time you are having negative thoughts and ideas regarding dating, you can be certain that it's stemming from beliefs that you have.
Beliefs have to do with things like self-worth and feeling worthy of Love, with past trauma and the identity you create through traumatic events, with past relationships and how you have learned to cope as a result of heartbreaks and pain from the past.
Your thoughts and feelings do not occur by chance. They occur congruent with the beliefs you have and they create very tangible results in terms of who you meet and how you interact with them.
You can not expect to have a happy, healthy relationship without first addressing the contextual beliefs that shape how you think and feel about it.
This brings us to fear. Fears are intimately woven into our belief structure due to the trauma and pain of the past. Most people find themselves living within a belief structure which is primarily fear-oriented, and so they naturally tend toward risk-adverseness and safety as a default.
Coming from fear, you only engage in relationship situations that you determine to be safe. But safety, as fear sees it, is simply what is familiar to you. This is what leads to destructive relationship patterns.
When you are fear-driven, you seek what is familiar rather than what is fulfilling. This is why you'll often seek out relationships that repeat the destructive experiences of your past. The familiarity of them creates attraction and a sense of safety, even if in reality, they are not safe at all.
Working with us on the fear-driven beliefs that are shaping your thoughts and feelings in relation to dating will create a complete shift in what you do, who you meet, and how you approach these situations. This is perhaps the most challenging, but also the most important work that needs to be done.
Now context is important, but it's not everything. If it were, you could just sit and think positive thoughts about Love and your True Love would come knocking on your door. (Let us know how that works out!)
You may honestly have incredible context around dating but if you're still struggling with it, that means you lack strategy.
Strategy is about knowing how to position yourself to meet the right people and knowing how to identify them when they show up.
Many people are attempting to date with no clear strategy on how they are actually going to connect with the kind of person they want to meet and no idea how to recognize them when they do meet them.
We'll just say a few things about strategy here:
1. You have to be an amazing catch. This naturally begins to unfold as your context improves. The idea is that when the person you're looking for meets you, they think, "WOW, I need to get to know this person."
2. You have to position yourself in situations where the kind of person you want to meet will be. There are many ways to do this, and the opportunities vary from person to person. We work with our clients on this in detail, but it doesn’t matter how amazing you are--if you surround yourself with losers, losers are all that you'll find.
3. You have to identify the qualities of the person you're looking for and train yourself to be attracted to those qualities. It is essential that you know exactly what to look for so that when you see it, it's clear to you and you recognize those qualities in that person.
There is one more aspect we work on with our clients that we won't go into detail about here, but it's worth a quick mention. We call it "skills"--the specific actions you take to connect with someone, talk to them, text them, get their attention, etc.
When your context and strategies are solid, the necessary skills usually show up. But we do have a few tricks we share with our clients that help to accelerate the process.
If you're looking for Love you must first look to your context and then your strategies. Both are essential. Having a great context without strategy is a good start, but it won't create True Love. Having strategies with no context will feel like you are constantly shooting yourself in the foot. When both processes are refined, dating becomes effortless and meeting the right people becomes easy.
If you'd like to revolutionize your Love life and optimize your context, strategy, and skills, click here.
A Conscious Approach to dating and Relationships...
We are not gurus. We have nothing that everyone else doesn't have and no secret tricks that will magically solve your love life. All we've done is learn to navigate the wild waters of relationships in a way that led us to find and create the love we've always wanted.
And we're still working on it Every. Single. Day.
The way that we, as a culture, have learned to do relationships is not the way to find True Love. Most of us have a lot of relationship-bad-habits and it's time to unlearn them. When you do, you'll find that the love you are looking for is well within your reach.
We've found a new kind of relationship, a departure from the modern dating drama and toxicity that so many people have come to accept as normal. And our methods have helped hundreds of individuals and couples navigate these challenging waters themselves to find the love they're looking for.
And you could be next! To find out how you can work with us and create the relationship that most people only ever dream about, click here. If you found this post helpful, please share it with someone that you know will benefit from it!