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Some Lessons From Our Wedding



As you've probably seen from some of our social media posts and the pictures we've been sharing, we were blessed to have a magical wedding in Montana with several of our closest friends last weekend.


The wedding followed a much-needed retreat after the stress of COVID and all of the intense challenges we've been faced with in our business and personal lives. This year has been profound in so many ways and not easy by any means. One of the reasons we wanted to share this post is because we know that social media makes it easy to make every day look perfect and magical and the truth is that it's not.


We, like so many other people, have faced financial challenges, feelings of disconnection and fear, uncertainty as we watched so many of our plans crumble, and doubts about everything. Like many couples, one of the biggest challenges we've had to face this year was the cancellation of our wedding plans.


Our wedding was scheduled for April 17th in Aruba and less than one month before the wedding date, Aruba closed its borders due to COVID19. At first, we were hopeful that the travel restrictions would only be in place for a couple of weeks, that we might still make it, but as the weeks went on and the global and local situation with the virus escalated, we came face-to-face with the reality of postponing our wedding indefinitely. Naturally, we were crushed by this. And of course, it brought up all kind of doubts and fears:


Will we ever get married?


Does this mean something about our relationship?


When will it be safe enough to gather with our friends and family?


How can we begin to reschedule or make new plans when there's no clear end to this in sight?


In the end, what could have been devastating to our spirits became an opportunity to grow closer together, to better support each other, and to dream together. That's what we want to share with you in this post.


Something we've always shared in our coaching is that it doesn't matter what happens, it only matters what you do with what happens.


Even if you experience something that you don't prefer, you have to trust enough to believe that it is leading you towards something that you do prefer. We teach this and believe it most of the time, but even we were confronted with our doubts.


The only certain thing in life is uncertainty and clinging to anything is the very thing that causes suffering. Even the best-laid plans will sometimes fall through and even the most powerful of us cannot control the circumstances surrounding an economic decline or a global pandemic.


But that doesn't mean we are powerless.


Things change in life and being affected by change is inevitable. You can't avoid it. What you can do is adapt and thrive through the changes. Change offers us the opportunity to explore a new possibility, one that you may not have seen or thought of otherwise, but only if you can ride the change like a wave. If you cling to the way it was before the change happened, you will suffer.


When you end a relationship, for any reason, you close one possibility and open up a world full of other possibilities. The pain only comes from clinging to the relationship that was. As soon as you can direct your attention to the relationship that will be--the one that won't end, the one you truly dream of--you are no longer suffering. You're inspired.


In fact, every relationship that ends or doesn't go where you wanted it to go is bringing you one step closer to True Love. If you're willing to believe that, it is the case. Every person who doesn't call back is one less person that you have to consider and therefore you are one person closer to the one you're looking for.


Our creative power doesn't come from our ability to control things or people, it comes from our ability to adapt and redirect ourselves in accordance with the flow of life.


In the instance of our wedding, we had to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't going to happen the way we thought or the way we wanted it to--the location would not be available, many of the original guests would not be able to attend, we didn't even know when we would be able to start making plans again.


We struggled for a while, but eventually, we surrendered to the situation as it was and let go. We had to believe that something better was coming and that when the time was right it would be revealed to us. We had to trust that our Love was powerful enough to not only overcome this challenge but to thrive through it.


This is just like dating. Dating can be full of let-downs and disappointments (rarely will someone avoid this altogether) but if you can believe that you are on your way to Love, that even the disappointment is getting you closer to what you really want, it won't last for long.


If you can surrender to the process and know that when the time is right the right person will show up, you can learn to enjoy the journey and allow it to make you a better person.


Canceling a wedding could be something that might end a relationship. A couple may think