As you've probably seen from some of our social media posts and the pictures we've been sharing, we were blessed to have a magical wedding in Montana with several of our closest friends last weekend.
The wedding followed a much-needed retreat after the stress of COVID and all of the intense challenges we've been faced with in our business and personal lives. This year has been profound in so many ways and not easy by any means. One of the reasons we wanted to share this post is because we know that social media makes it easy to make every day look perfect and magical and the truth is that it's not.
We, like so many other people, have faced financial challenges, feelings of disconnection and fear, uncertainty as we watched so many of our plans crumble, and doubts about everything. Like many couples, one of the biggest challenges we've had to face this year was the cancellation of our wedding plans.
Our wedding was scheduled for April 17th in Aruba and less than one month before the wedding date, Aruba closed its borders due to COVID19. At first, we were hopeful that the travel restrictions would only be in place for a couple of weeks, that we might still make it, but as the weeks went on and the global and local situation with the virus escalated, we came face-to-face with the reality of postponing our wedding indefinitely. Naturally, we were crushed by this. And of course, it brought up all kind of doubts and fears:
Will we ever get married?
Does this mean something about our relationship?
When will it be safe enough to gather with our friends and family?
How can we begin to reschedule or make new plans when there's no clear end to this in sight?
In the end, what could have been devastating to our spirits became an opportunity to grow closer together, to better support each other, and to dream together. That's what we want to share with you in this post.
Something we've always shared in our coaching is that it doesn't matter what happens, it only matters what you do with what happens.
Even if you experience something that you don't prefer, you have to trust enough to believe that it is leading you towards something that you do prefer. We teach this and believe it most of the time, but even we were confronted with our doubts.
The only certain thing in life is uncertainty and clinging to anything is the very thing that causes suffering. Even the best-laid plans will sometimes fall through and even the most powerful of us cannot control the circumstances surrounding an economic decline or a global pandemic.
But that doesn't mean we are powerless.
Things change in life and being affected by change is inevitable. You can't avoid it. What you can do is adapt and thrive through the changes. Change offers us the opportunity to explore a new possibility, one that you may not have seen or thought of otherwise, but only if you can ride the change like a wave. If you cling to the way it was before the change happened, you will suffer.
When you end a relationship, for any reason, you close one possibility and open up a world full of other possibilities. The pain only comes from clinging to the relationship that was. As soon as you can direct your attention to the relationship that will be--the one that won't end, the one you truly dream of--you are no longer suffering. You're inspired.
In fact, every relationship that ends or doesn't go where you wanted it to go is bringing you one step closer to True Love. If you're willing to believe that, it is the case. Every person who doesn't call back is one less person that you have to consider and therefore you are one person closer to the one you're looking for.
Our creative power doesn't come from our ability to control things or people, it comes from our ability to adapt and redirect ourselves in accordance with the flow of life.
In the instance of our wedding, we had to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't going to happen the way we thought or the way we wanted it to--the location would not be available, many of the original guests would not be able to attend, we didn't even know when we would be able to start making plans again.
We struggled for a while, but eventually, we surrendered to the situation as it was and let go. We had to believe that something better was coming and that when the time was right it would be revealed to us. We had to trust that our Love was powerful enough to not only overcome this challenge but to thrive through it.
This is just like dating. Dating can be full of let-downs and disappointments (rarely will someone avoid this altogether) but if you can believe that you are on your way to Love, that even the disappointment is getting you closer to what you really want, it won't last for long.
If you can surrender to the process and know that when the time is right the right person will show up, you can learn to enjoy the journey and allow it to make you a better person.
Canceling a wedding could be something that might end a relationship. A couple may think that it's not meant to be or the stress and frustration around it could cause conflicts that they can't overcome. But it can also be something that brings you closer together. That's what happened for us.
In the months between canceling our original wedding and having our new one, our relationship grew deeper than ever, but only because we came together in the challenge. Instead of using it as something that made us question our relationship, we used it as something that would affirm it.
In that time, we did work that we needed to do. We confronted questions and situations together that we were uncomfortable with, we had some deep and serious conversations that we needed to have. In our fear and uncertainty of what the future would hold, we learned to support each other rather than to fight about it.
We understand that doing this in a relationship is a different dynamic than doing it when single but the contextual foundation in the same.
You have to use the challenges that you confront as a way of affirming your commitment. Each time that you discover something you don't want, you use it to better affirm and identify what you do want.
For example, if you're dating someone who doesn't give you the time and attention that you're looking for in a relationship, use that information to better identify what you do want from a relationship. Learn to expect that from someone and become unwilling to tolerate anything less.
Learn to believe that someone will show up who will give you that time and attention. Rather than clinging to a past wish, look to the future and get excited about what's to come, even when you can't see it clearly yet, just like we did with our wedding.
The way it all came together was nothing short of miraculous. It was an affirmation of our faith and everything that we teach: You do create your reality, all of it, and you have the power to create the Love of your Life.
We were invited to attend a retreat in Northwest Montana with a close friend of ours, the person who was supposed to marry us in Aruba. We asked if he could marry us in Glacier National Park while we were there and he said he had already been thinking the same thing. As it turned out, several of our other friends would also be attending the retreat.
We invited just a few other people and only 2 of them were able to go. We went from a guest list of about 30 people to a guest list of 10. The hotel where we were staying let us rent a room to host the reception and the caterer who was serving the retreat also offered to serve the wedding. We found an incredible photographer and secured a ceremony location at sunset on the shore of one of the most beautiful lakes we've ever seen. Our photographer even offered to pick up our cake and flowers.
In less than one month, an event more magical than we could have imagined came together effortlessly and seamlessly. Those who were meant to be there were there and even though it didn't pan out how we had originally planned it, it turned out better than what we had envisioned it could be.
We wanted to share this experience with you because it holds so many important lessons, especially with what's going on in the world right now:
When events seem out of your control, it's easy to become afraid. Remember that your power comes not from controlling events but from responding to them. In that, you have the power to make all of your dreams come true.
Believe that good things are coming. When something happens that you don't prefer, believe that it is leading you to something even better. Have the courage to face your doubts about this and you will prove it to be so.
Do the work every step of the way. If you're single do the work of a single person. If you're in a relationship do the work that it calls for. If you want a relationship, believe that it will happen and actively prepare yourself for it.
We also wanted to share this because we want you to know that it wasn't perfect. We shed tears. We were angry, frustrated. We were afraid. We had to explore several options in the planning to find the ones that eventually worked. And we chose to respond to the situation in a way that allowed us to create a Plan B, one that in our opinion was way better than Plan A would have been.
That is a choice that we all have access to, and we want you to know the magic of making that choice.
Our greatest passion is to walk the journey of Love with people like you, helping you to find it, create it, and sustain it. If you're ready for Love like you've never had it before and you want our commitment behind you, Click Here to learn about working with us.
Thanks for reading! We hope you enjoyed the story. <3
Thank you so much for enjoying our content! Our greatest joy comes from knowing that people like you are using it to transform their lives and relationships and that the world is becoming a better place because of it.
We know the feeling of being alone, of struggling through what seems like an endless series of dead-end relationships, of waiting for the phone to ring, of being rejected and let down again.
We know what it's like to go to bed alone each night wondering if that will ever change and fearing that it might not.
We know these experiences all too well and that is why we do the work we do. We want you to know that you can find Love, that just the application of these simple tools and practices can make a complete difference in every aspect of your Love life and ultimately lead you to the lifetime partnership you so deeply crave.
You're not in this alone. We're here for you <3
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