Stop Love Bombing People (and Stop Allowing Them To Do It To You)

We've been there... We know how it happens.

You meet someone who makes you feel like you've never felt before. They seem to be everything you imagine someone could be. The connection is electric. They are fun, spontaneous, hilarious.

Maybe you've been alone for a while or maybe you've just been entertaining some underwhelming prospects. Whatever the case, what this person brings to the table feels magical. The world seems full of color. You may think to yourself, "I've finally found it! This is what I've been looking for."

You know you shouldn't get hooked too soon, but against your better judgment, you let yourself start to slip, you start to fall. Everything they do seems so right, but most important of all...

They say all the right things.

They say everything you've ever wanted to hear, all of the things you wished that your ex would've said to you. They know exactly what you want to hear and exactly how to say it.

Maybe it's even more than words, maybe it's grand romantic gestures.

Whatever it is that they are doing and saying, you are falling for it and you're falling hard. Everything is so magical and then all of a sudden--

It stops.

Maybe they ghost you, maybe overnight they become someone you don't even recognize, maybe they deny they ever said the things that made you feel so good. Somehow, all of a sudden, you begin to realize that the person you thought they were is not the person they really are.

And now it's too late because you're hooked. You've invested too much and you can't just walk away. So you stay and you try to make it work and you don't leave until the painful recognition that it was all just a fantasy becomes so detrimental to your wellbeing that you simply can't bear it anymore.

You walk away broken, jaded, and suspicious of the next person who shows you Love.

You have just been Love-Bombed.

We get it. Of course, when someone appears to be everything you've ever wanted you'll want to believe that they are. And we are believers in Love, believers that "that person" is out there looking for you and that you can find them.

As common as this vicious cycle is, it's not necessary. Love is out there waiting for you, and yes, to find it you have to know how to avoid situations like the one we described above but you don't have to be suspicious of people or of Love in general. You simply have to be suspicious about suspicious behavior.

If you allow yourself to be taken in by unrealistic fantasies, or if you do that to other people, you set yourself up for disappointment time and time again. But if you recognize Love-Bombing for what it is--unrealistic, unfounded, feelings-based, sometimes intentionally manipulative words and actions--you simply won't fall for it.

In this post, we're identifying the clear signs of a Love-Bomber so you'll quickly know the difference between someone who is caught up in the thrill of emotion and someone who could actually become the Love of your Life.

First, let's take a break from Hollywood and talk about real life.

You've been sold a lie. We all have.

It's a lie that's made billions, from the Disney Princess whose Prince Charming travels across the world and slays a dragon to win the affection of a woman he's never met, to the romantic comedy where two people lock eyes in a coffee shop and then call off their upcoming weddings because suddenly they know they've met "the one."

These stories sell but that doesn't make them true.

My wife and I love Love. That's why we've made it our life's work. We are believers, we know it's real, we know you can find it, but what you've seen on TV isn't Love. Frankly, it's bullsh*t.