The 4 Reasons We Fight

In every new relationship, I remember having the thought, "I can't imagine what we would ever fight about." Anybody who can relate to that can also relate to the fact that it wouldn't be long until we would find something.

It's a strange phenomenon that the person we love the most is often the one who gets the worst of us; how in relationships, we can vacillate from overwhelming feelings of Love to overwhelming feelings of anger or even rage.

So why do we fight? If you're like most people, then the reasons why you actually fight rarely have anything to do with the thing that you're fighting about. They begin with one thing and quickly escalate to other things entirely, until after a while, you can't even remember what started the fight to begin with.

Why is it so difficult for two people to simply Love and be good to each other?

What is all the fighting really about?

And how do you stop it?

We have a few ideas about this and in this post, we're going to share them with you.

If you're committed to a kind, warm, and understanding relationship, read on. We're going to tell you the 4 reasons that couples fight and how to stop the fighting altogether.

The most common issues that couples fight about are (in no particular order):








Free Time

Social Media

But these aren't really the cause of any fight--they are actually the trigger points. These are the issues that trigger those places of doubt and insecurity in you that make you want to fight.

Most if not all of these issues will be a part of any relationship but some couples navigate these challenges in a cooperative and understanding manner while for others, they become a constant source of conflict.

So what are you really fighting about? We've narrowed it down to 4 critical points that once resolved, while you may still have disagreements, you will never fight the way that most couples do.

The 4 critical points that are behind most fights between couples are:

Personal insecurity

Lack of communication skills


Not making the relationship a priority

#1 Personal Insecurity

This is perhaps the most challenging to overcome, and also the most insidious.

Fights are mostly due to the insecurities of one or both partners. When you are feeling insecure, anything your partner says or does can be taken personally. You'll often want to make them work a lot harder than necessary to show you their Love and this in itself will often cause a fight.

Insecurity will make you feel jealous, even when there is nothing to be jealous about. Because insecurity feels like a lack of stability, it will cause you to doubt your partner's feelings for you, your financial situation, your sex life, things regarding your children, and so on.

Insecurity is at the root of a