If you're looking for Love then you've certainly met a few people that didn't really measure up to your highest standards. If you're like most of us, you've probably ended up in a relationship with them a time or two.
Of all the people we've worked with, none of them have entirely escaped the fate of a dead-end relationship or the sudden realization that the person they fell in Love with isn't the person standing in front of them at all.
Early on, everyone puts on their best face and most people do a decent job of it. There isn't a person alive who will seem as perfect 3 months into a relationship as they did in the first month. It's part of the game. We're human, we're messy, and we all show our true colors eventually.
Still, just because there are no perfect people doesn't mean there are no great people. If someone tells you there are no good people out there, they're simply wrong. There are amazing people out there and Love happens when two great people meet each other.
The mistake is that great people and average people often look very similar in the beginning, especially when we're developing feelings for them and we want to see the best in them.
But people are always being themselves, they can't help it. So if you know what to look for, you can tell the quality of a person very early on. Once you know how to recognize these things, the difference between an average guy and a great man becomes pretty obvious.
In this post, we're going to share the 3 qualities that great men who demonstrate the potential for a long-term committed relationship all have. If you look for these 3 things and don't make excuses for them not being there, it will save you years of drama in dating.
Excited to hear more? Then let's begin.
Quality #1: His Word Really Means Something
This simple idea of doing what you say you will do speaks volumes about any person--man or woman. When you recognize that your word has weight, that it matters what you say to people, that makes you trustworthy.
Recognizing that it matters what you say to people demonstrates a very fundamental level of respect. The recognition that people are going to arrange their lives based on what you say to them and not taking that for granted means that you respect them.
Many people keep their word only when the cost of breaking it feels too high to pay. A great man keeps his word simply because he knows its value. If he tells you he's going to take you out on Friday, he's going to show up when he said he would even if he could do something else, even if what seems like a better option comes up.
If he says he's going to call, he will. You won't be waiting around for it because he understands that your life and your time are just as valuable as his and he doesn't want to waste either.
Strong relationships are created through two people keeping their word to each other. That creates trust. You can't trust someone who doesn't keep their word, no matter how cool or attractive they are.
We're not saying that he's perfect with this, everyone makes mistakes, but there is a huge difference between someone who keeps their word 95% of the time and 50% of the time. This isn't something to make excuses or allowances about.
Someone who you can only count on half of the time doesn't show promise for a relationship no matter how much you like them.
Quality #2: He Is Kind
Another massively underestimated quality is kindness. In fact, in dating, we often view kindness as weakness.
That couldn't be farther from the truth. It takes strength to be kind, especially in a world where people are constantly judging it. Especially when often it's easier and more popular to be obnoxious.
But we need to be clear about something: Kindness is not the same as being nice. Nice people are often not kind. They are usually self-serving in that they try to make everyone happy for their own approval. They tell you what you want to hear even when it's BS.
This is why the "nice guy" isn't sexy. He's spineless, he doesn't stand for anything. He's trying to be whoever you want him to be to get you to like him and you can't trust someone like that.
Kindness isn't about being nice. Kind people will sometimes tell you something you don't want to hear but they won't do it to hurt you and they'll do it in the most loving way possible.
Nice people will be nice to you and mean to others. Kind people are kind to everyone because they do it out of principle, not for approval. If you see a man you're dating being rude to other people or talking behind their back, don't think that there will never be a time when he'll do it to you. He is revealing that that's what he does.
Great men are slow to blame and to anger and quick to be responsible. They don't play the victim or act like other people are the cause of their problems. Someone who likes to play the blame game will one day blame you.
Many of us are attracted to edgy people because we've seen a lot of that in our past. Having some edge or some mystery isn't all bad but if you are attracted solely to that and you don't seek to balance it with kindness, you will end up with some very toxic people.
Never fall for someone who just says what you want to hear or does things that make you feel good. Fall for someone who shows kindness as a way of life. That's the difference between someone who will use you and someone who will Love you.
Quality #3: He Is Clear, Committed, and Knows What He Wants
Now we're not saying that someone who doesn't know what he wants is a bad person, but you may find it very difficult to be in a relationship with him. Someone who wants you one day and doesn't the next gives you no foundation to stand on.
He may have very good reasons for not knowing what he wants, he may genuinely be in the process of figuring it out, but you should never put yourself in a position of waiting for him to do that.
A man who shows the promise of a long-term committed relationship will already know what he wants when he meets you. He won't need your help to figure it out.
We've often said that commitment isn't something that comes down the road in a relationship, it's there from day one. Only the level of commitment changes. Meaning that at the beginning, it doesn't make sense to live together, but it does make sense to call, text, and go out on dates. That's the appropriate level of commitment.
A great man will bring the appropriate level of commitment at each stage of the relationship. He will be obviously interested in the beginning and you won't wonder, "Does he like me?" That will be clear.
He also won't stall the relationship from taking its next natural step. When it's time to be exclusive, he'll want it too. He'll want you to be his girlfriend and he'll want people to know about you.
Commitment looks a certain way and when it's not there in the beginning, it's unlikely that it will show up later. It's not your job to get him committed--that's his job. Your job is to find a committed man, one who knows what he's looking for and is ready to find it.
The challenge in dating is not that there aren't good people looking for Love, it's that you can become so dissatisfied with being alone that you settle for less before you meet a truly great man.
Dating is only partially about meeting people. The other part is about personal discovery. It's becoming content enough with yourself and confident enough about your worth that you can begin to meet lots of people without being attached. You can have fun with all of them and patiently wait for the right one in the certainty that he is on his way to you.
You become powerful enough to walk away when something isn't going anywhere, courageous enough to ask for what you want, and you learn to Love yourself enough to never accept less than Love from another person.
We're hosting a very special presentation called Creating a Conscious Relationship where we're looking at the toxic dating dynamics and how you can find yourself in unfulfilling cycles over and over again. In this free class, we're going to tell you how to free yourself from these cycles and find what you're truly looking for.
There's still space available, don't miss your opportunity. Click here to join for free.
We hope you enjoyed the read. Lots of Love <3
Thank you so much for enjoying our content! Our greatest joy comes from knowing that people like you are using it to transform their lives and relationships and that the world is becoming a better place because of it.
We know the feeling of being alone, of struggling through what seems like an endless series of dead-end relationships, of waiting for the phone to ring, of being rejected and let down again.
We know what it's like to go to bed alone each night wondering if that will ever change and fearing that it might not.
We know these experiences all too well and that is why we do the work we do. We want you to know that you can find Love, that just the application of these simple tools and practices can make a complete difference in every aspect of your Love life and ultimately lead you to the lifetime partnership you so deeply crave.
You're not in this alone. We're here for you <3
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