Ever been Breadcrumbed by someone?
Breadcrumbing is when someone is giving you the minimum amount of attention and investment necessary to keep you from walking away. Just when you've had it and you're ready to move on, they do or say something and it's just enough to pull you right back in.
You hear nothing for weeks and right when you're about to let go altogether, they call. They want to see you, they fill you with hope, and leave you thinking, "maybe this could work..."
And then, they disappear again.
You feel like you're always waiting around for them to call or text or to want to see you, but it never seems like they're waiting on you. They keep you so starved for Love and affection that you start to become grateful for any little bit of their attention...
The crumbs.
You get angry because they've gone dark again but when they call, it makes you so happy that you forget why you were angry. And then the cycle starts again, each time giving you just enough hope to keep hanging on but so little effort that you'll never be happy.
We know you want to find Love. You wouldn't be reading this if you didn't.
You want someone you can count on to be there when you need them, to have your back, to Love and support you. You want something real and authentic. And you want this person to be the one.
We understand that more than you know, but if you really are being breadcrumbed, they are not The One.
In this post, we're going to share how you know when someone is breadcrumbing you and how to handle it when you find yourself in this situationship.
So first, are you actually being breadcrumbed?
How do you know when it's happening? The dating game is complex and things are not always so black and white. Maybe he is just busy. Maybe he really is doing his best. Maybe the problem is you and not him and you just need to stop being so attached, right?
In some cases, yes, but you really have to trust your intuition. When someone is honestly into you, they want you to know it. When someone wants to be with you, they don't want to lose you. So they make the effort to keep you around.
If he isn't making every effort to show you how much you matter to him, it's unlikely that you do.
And please understand, we're not saying that to hurt you but because we want you to stop hurting. If you're being breadcrumbed, this will only continue to hurt.
Ask yourself these questions:
Is it obvious that I am important to this person?
Are they making a real effort to have a relationship with me?
Do they make me feel important?
Do they make me a priority?
Does this relationship feel right in my heart or am I constantly trying to justify it in my mind?
When you know something is right you don't feel the need to question it and convince yourself that it's good. You don't have to talk yourself into what you know.
If he sincerely wants a relationship with you, he will want you to know that. If he doesn't want to lose you, the last thing he would want is for you to question if you should stick around or not.
Are you being breadcrumbed? You have to come to this conclusion for yourself but the signs are always there. If you honestly want to see the truth, you will.
Next, honestly ask yourself, "Do I believe that I deserve better?"
You find the Love that you believe you deserve. We know that can be tough to hear, but truer words have never been spoken.
If you are allowing someone to have access to your life, your time, your heart, and your bed without requiring them to prove their worthiness to you, you have to question how worthy you really believe you are.
You will resign to even the most unfulfilling situations if you think you don't deserve better or you think that this is the best you can hope for.
This can be difficult to confront, but it's important to hear. The only reason you would ever allow someone to breadcrumb you is that you have very low expectations for your life and relationships.
More than anything, we want you to know how worthy you are and believe it enough to never allow someone easy access to your life in this way. That's the only way you can find the Love you're dreaming about.
There is no dating tip that will make up for knowing your worth and value. It's the only way you will stop allowing the minimum amount of investment from people and start to expect so much more from Life and Love.
The good news is that everything will change very quickly. Once you see that you've been allowing less and make up your mind to never settle again, you start to feel better about yourself, your confidence increases, you become happier, and you attract better people into your life.
If someone has been getting away with giving you the minimum possible investment, all you need to do is raise your minimum. That small amount of effort is no longer acceptable. Find out if they are willing to give you more.
Now, what you do about it?
The most important thing in a situation like this is to come to terms with the fact that it's not getting any better. This person is not going to change, suddenly fall in Love with you, and want a committed relationship. They aren't going to suddenly realize that they've been missing how amazing you are and do a 180.
And this has nothing to do with you. It's all about them.
In these instances, you might tend to think that there's a way to prove yourself or make him want you, but there isn't. He doesn't want to want you and it's not because there's something wrong with you.
It's because he doesn't want to be committed.
Even if theoretically you could get him to commit to you, you wouldn't be happy with the relationship. You don't want someone that you have to manipulate for Love. You want someone who Loves you because they choose to.
Once you understand how worthy you are, it's no longer about getting him to want you. You suddenly recognize that you don't want him. You recognize that he hasn't shown the level of commitment that you're looking for, that you want more than he can offer you.
So the next time he calls, you say very clearly:
"I have to be honest with you, what we're doing here has become boring for me and I've lost interest. I appreciate our time together and everything I've learned from you but I'm over it now. I wish you the best and hope you find what you're looking for."
And then move on with your life.
This isn't a game to regain power in the relationship. You will waste years of your life if you use it that way. This is you authentically recognizing that you want and deserve more than he has to offer.
When you end it with him, it's likely he'll call again. You've given him a challenge and he's going to want to prove himself. If you allow yourself to be lured back into his game, you must realize that it's likely going to end up right back where it started.
He's already shown you what you can expect from him. He'll be around as long as the game is fun and entertaining for him but he's not interested in commitment, in creating a life together, and in truly being there for you.
Instead, try to believe that there is someone who wants all of that. There is someone, like you, looking for True Love and they are looking for someone just like you. When you find them, you will laugh about the time you wasted because you'll know how good it can be.
You'll think to yourself, "Oh this is how it's supposed to be!"
When someone doesn't recognize what a gift it is to be with you, it's because they don't know how to. It doesn't make you less than them. If anything, it means you're out of their league.
Only someone who knows how blessed they are to be with you deserves your time and attention. Continue being your awesome self, be open to connection when you have the opportunity, and don't allow anyone to waste your time. You will create a Love story that puts all past romances to shame.
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And thank you for reading. Lots of Love <3
Thank you so much for enjoying our content! Our greatest joy comes from knowing that people like you are using it to transform your lives and relationships and that the world is becoming a better place because of it.
We know the feeling of being alone, of struggling through what seems like an endless series of dead-end relationships, of waiting for the phone to ring, of being rejected and let down again and again.
We know what it's like to go to bed alone each night wondering if that will ever change and fearing that it might not.
We know these experiences all too well and that is why we do the work we do. We want you to know that you can find Love, that the application of these simple tools and practices can make a complete difference in every aspect of your Love life, ultimately leading you to the intimate, loving, lifetime partnership you so deeply crave.
You're not in this alone. We're here for you <3