For most people, finding a relationship is really not the problem, it's keeping one and having it succeed.
In dating, we go from relationship to relationship thinking that the next one will be better, but until we really understand why the past ones haven't worked out, it's unlikely the future ones will be different. You may think that it's simply a matter of meeting the right person, but you can't even meet the right person until you're ready for them and that's what this post is about.
A successful relationship is less about meeting the right person and more about being the right person. You like most people, want to fall in Love. You want a Loving and
Conscious Relationship. That's amazing, but that alone doesn't make you ready
Relationships fail even when people Love each other because Loving just isn't enough. Love is beautiful when it's shared within an intimate partnership, but until you've prepared yourself for that partnership Love can't be shared as fully as you want.
We want you to have it that Love--you DESERVE to have it. So the most important thing you can do right now is to prepare yourself so that you're ready for it. In this post, we're going to tell you how you know you're ready, and what you do to get ready.
#1 Are you lonely?
A relationship is not the cure for loneliness. We know that feels counterintuitive because we tend to think that we get into a relationship to end loneliness, but this is one of the biggest misconceptions that cause relationships to fail.
Even in relationships, people can be lonelier than ever proving that having another person there doesn't solve the feeling of loneliness.
Hoping that someone will come and cure the feeling of being alone in your own heart is futile. And trying to make someone do that will only hurt you both.
There is nothing wrong with feeling supported and loved by another person, indeed that is what relationships are for. But to be able to receive that, you need to be able to give that as well, and that's something you can't do when you're lonely.
Part of getting ready for a relationship is being happy without one. Before you fall in Love with someone else, fall in Love with yourself. Fill your life with Love, even if it's not coming from a significant other.
Focus on creating authentic connection with others simply for the sake of experiencing connection. Learn to Love being in your own company and find things that bring you joy and throw yourself into them. Make your life so fulfilling that loneliness isn't even a thought.
Now you are preparing yourself for Love and you are becoming your most authentic and attractive self. The self that someone will want to fall in Love with.
#2 Are you under stress, anxiety, or surrounded by drama?
Imbalance in your personal life is always exacerbated in a relationship. When you invite someone into your life you are inviting them into all of it. Part of being ready for a Love is making your life a place that someone wants to stay.
Family/friend drama, overworking and time scarcity, lack of boundaries, addictions, sex problems, and serious money challenges will all weigh heavily on a relationship.
Before you invite someone into your life, prepare a space for them. When they arrive, they feel safe and comfortable. It feels like home.
We create relationships because we want to feel safe, the world is crazy enough. If the relationship is a constant place of uncertainty, it won't feel like home and likely won't last.
If family is always getting mixed up in your business, if your work is all-consuming, if you are overly-stressed about time or money, if you have dramatic people around that are always pulling you in, or areas of your life in which you don't have proper boundaries, that will all spill into your relationship causing stress, frustration, and fighting.
A Loving relationship is a product of two balanced people. People who Love themselves enough to create a peaceful and happy life for themselves are the same people who can create a peaceful and happy space for a relationship.
#3 How is your internal state?
More than anything, mental and emotional imbalance weighs heavily on a relationship.
When we aren't happy with ourselves, our partners are forced to deal with that. To some extent, we all deal with our partner's "stuff" in relationships, that's normal, but we also have to recognize our responsibility is to do our best to be our best.
Being in a conscious relationship means being there for another person. When you struggle to be there for yourself, being there for another person becomes impossible.
If you are lonely, you will feel that because of them you should not be lonely and you will resent them because of that loneliness.
If you struggle with trust, you will doubt their intentions, the things they say and do, and you will pick fights with them around these things.
If you feel unworthy or not enough, no matter how good your partner is to you, it will never be enough. This will wear them down and defeat them and they'll end up feeling like they weren't enough for you.
Part of loving someone else is loving yourself enough to do whatever it takes to find peace and happiness. To feel confident and powerful. When you Love someone, you want the best for them and to give them the best, you have to be at your best.
So are you ready?
Well, let's find out! Take the quiz here
This post was not written to tell you all of the reasons that you're not ready. Some of you need to recognize that you've already done the work and it's time to get on with it!
This isn't a standard of perfection we're aiming for here, these are simply a few standards by which you can identify that you really are ready. Don't spend unnecessary years "working on yourself" when in fact it's time to get on with it and go fall in Love.
Just consider these questions:
Have you learned to Love yourself and enjoy your own company? Do you need the constant distraction of other people or can you be content without them?
Do you have external balance in your Life? A stable home? Stable relationships? A stable work environment?
Do you have internal balance? Are you generally a happy person? Are you generally kind, considerate, understanding, empathetic? Do you know how to be there for other people?
If you answer YES to these questions, then you're ready. It's that simple. If you notice that there are some things to work on, simply focus on them, do the work, get them done, and get ready. Don't procrastinate or overcomplicate the process.
If you're ready to get on with it, then please join us for this live presentation where we are uncovering the single pattern of unfulfillment that prevents you from finding Love in dating and a few simple shifts that will get you free of it.
The best thing you can do is to put the work in now--there is no better time! Whether that means doing some personal development or it means getting out there and actively connecting with people, now is the best time to start.
We'd love to get to know you better, so please join our next presentation.
Thanks for reading <3
Thank you so much for enjoying our content! Our greatest joy comes from knowing that people like you are using it to transform their lives and relationships and that the world is becoming a better place because of it.
We know the feeling of being alone, of struggling through what seems like an endless series of dead-end relationships, of waiting for the phone to ring, of being rejected and let down again.
We know what it's like to go to bed alone each night wondering if that will ever change and fearing that it might not.
We know these experiences all too well and that is why we do the work we do. We want you to know that you can find Love, that just the application of these simple tools and practices can make a complete difference in every aspect of your Love life and ultimately lead you to the lifetime partnership you so deeply crave.
You're not in this alone. We're here for you <3
To join our next Live Presentation for free, click here.