For most people, finding a relationship is really not the problem, it's keeping one and having it succeed.
In dating, we go from relationship to relationship thinking that the next one will be better, but until we really understand why the past ones haven't worked out, it's unlikely the future ones will be different. You may think that it's simply a matter of meeting the right person, but you can't even meet the right person until you're ready for them and that's what this post is about.
A successful relationship is less about meeting the right person and more about being the right person. You like most people, want to fall in Love. You want a Loving and
Conscious Relationship. That's amazing, but that alone doesn't make you ready
Relationships fail even when people Love each other because Loving just isn't enough. Love is beautiful when it's shared within an intimate partnership, but until you've prepared yourself for that partnership Love can't be shared as fully as you want.
We want you to have it that Love--you DESERVE to have it. So the most important thing you can do right now is to prepare yourself so that you're ready for it. In this post, we're going to tell you how you know you're ready, and what you do to get ready.
#1 Are you lonely?
A relationship is not the cure for loneliness. We know that feels counterintuitive because we tend to think that we get into a relationship to end loneliness, but this is one of the biggest misconceptions that cause relationships to fail.
Even in relationships, people can be lonelier than ever proving that having another person there doesn't solve the feeling of loneliness.
Hoping that someone will come and cure the feeling of being alone in your own heart is futile. And trying to make someone do that will only hurt you both.
There is nothing wrong with feeling supported and loved by another person, indeed that is what relationships are for. But to be able to receive that, you need to be able to give that as well, and that's something you can't do when you're lonely.
Part of getting ready for a relationship is being happy without one. Before you fall in Love with someone else, fall in Love with yourself. Fill your life with Love, even if it's not coming from a significant other.
Focus on creating authentic connection with others simply for the sake of experiencing connection. Learn to Love being in your own company and find things that bring you joy and throw yourself into them. Make your life so fulfilling that loneliness isn't even a thought.
Now you are preparing yourself for Love and you are becoming your most authentic and attractive self. The self that someone will want to fall in Love with.
#2 Are you under stress, anxiety, or surrounded by drama?
Imbalance in your personal life is always exacerbated in a relationship. When you invite someone into your life you are inviting them into all of it. Part of being ready for a Love is making your life a place that someone wants to stay.
Family/friend drama, overworking and time scarcity, lack of boundaries, addictions, sex problems, and serious money challenges will all weigh heavily on a relationship.
Before you invite someone into your life, prepare a space for them. When they arrive, they feel safe and comfortable. It feels like home.
We create relationships because we want to feel safe, the world is crazy enough. If the relationship is a constant place of uncertainty, it won't feel like home and likely won't last. <