Search

Is the Search for Love Costing You Too Much?


Dating could be the most inspiring, uplifting, and creative journey of your life.


It could literally be a period of expansive personal growth and insight where you explore your passion, learn to Love yourself like never before, create authentic connection with amazing people, and you consciously select your ideal life partner.


But most of us don't experience it that way.


Most of us feel defeated, deflated, rejected, ignored, unloved, and unworthy.


Our relationships feel like we're constantly straddling the fence of excitement and anxiety. When it gets intense, we lose our peace and power, and sometimes, we feel like we'd do almost anything for Love.


Being in Love is amazing. There's a reason why we go to the crazy extremes we do for it. It's literally one of the most incredible experiences in life but to think that this experience is worth paying any price is a big mistake.


Love is not worth any price and the ironic thing is that the more you pay for it the less you get in return. Love is not something that takes from us and relationships that do are relationships where we've mistaken something else for Love.


In this post, we're going to share why the search for Love is costing you way too much and how the only way to ever find Love is to be willing to pay less for it.





Love is Not Sacrifice


A Loving relationship is not something that forces us to diminish ourselves or sacrifice anything that is truly valuable to us. In fact, a Loving relationship is always an environment that raises you up to your best.


Of course, it requires hard-work, challenge, compromise, understanding, and empathy, but not sacrifice. We should not be sacrificing ourselves for Love but instead having Love call us into being the greatest expression of who we can be. It should make us better, not worse.


The fake Love trap looks like this:


You meet someone, you like them, and you want them to like you back. You've had a few great dates, maybe you're talking a lot, maybe you're sleeping together.


It began as genuine excitement, the possibility of something new, the possibility of Love. It was authentic, innocent, and pure but then something happened--a moment of fear.


Maybe it was something they said, maybe it seems like someone else is in the picture, maybe they hinted that they don't really want anything serious. Maybe it's just that things have been dragging on for a while and you have no certainty about where this is going.


Whatever happened, you start to become preoccupied with this person, you're afraid that you're going to lose them and you start trying to figure out how you can keep them.


You've lost sight of what's important and you've forgotten the real goal.


The goal is never to get the Love and attention of this person. The goal is to create a Loving and Conscious Relationship. When you forget the goal, you'll sacrifice the Love you desire for the attention you want.


Here the relationship becomes destructive because Love is no longer the goal. The goal is now the attention and affection of this person and when that is what's most important to you, there is almost nothing you won't sacrifice.


To find Love, the relationship of your dreams has to be more important to you than the attention of any one person. Nobody is worth that kind of sacrifice, no matter how much you like them.



What does Love really cost?