Many of us struggle to get a sane answer to this question. Opinions on this range from the extremes of "as soon as possible", which is highly unwise, to "not until marriage", which is highly unrealistic.
In addition to that, we're often caught between conflicting thoughts and feelings like wanting them to like us and fear of them losing interest. When we really get honest with ourselves, most of us would prefer to wait a while and establish more trust and comfort with the person before taking the relationship to that level.
On the other hand, we've seen relationships that were ready to go there avoid doing so because of certain dogmas or ideas about how it's supposed to be. This, while less destructive than jumping into bed too early, still doesn't really do the relationship or the individuals any justice.
It would seem that there is a right time to get physical with someone you're dating and yet it would also seem that time is different for every person and situation. Rather than writing a post that tells you what to do with your life, we prefer to create content that encourages you to be more critical-thinking in determining what the right choice for you is, and that's what we're going to do here in this post.
The most important thing to recognize is that from the moment you engage with someone, you are creating your relationship with them whether you're doing it consciously or unconsciously. Choosing to sleep with someone is not an empty act, it is a highly creative one and will certainly shape your relationship for better or for worst.
In this post, we're going to give you some powerful things to consider regarding getting into bed with someone new. If you honestly consider these ideas, you will find it easy to determine what the right time is for you.
Idea #1 Do you want to be perceived as easy?
We want you to consider the implications of being easy...
This is what we found with a quick google search on "quotes about things that come easy":
"Nothing worth having comes easy."
"What comes easy won't last and what lasts won't come easy."
"Easy come, easy go."
"The most worthwhile things in life rarely come easy."
"Great things never come easy."
And most everything else is a variation on these same ideas.
Things that come easy are generally perceived as lacking worth. We're not saying that it actually lacks worth, but only pointing out that it tends to be perceived that way.
You are certainly incredibly worthy, as we all are, and we would never question that. But part of consciously creating your ideal relationship requires you to be conscious of how you are perceived by others and present yourself as someone of high worth and value.
We've found that people who have a clear understanding of how worthy and valuable they are also intuitively understand this and present themselves accordingly. We've also found that when people choose to sleep with someone based on pressure or wanting to please the other person, they tend to not understand how worthy they truly are.
This in turn translates to the other person as well. They will also experience you as being unworthy and it's unlikely they'll develop a sincere interest in you.
Earning someone's respect is about owning your own worth and value. When you see it, they will too. Until then, you can bend over backward trying to please them and they will still not respect you.
Please do not hear this as a judgment about your choice to sleep with someone. We have no judgment and we've both made choices in the past that we would choose differently today. The point is that when someone has to work for something, they tend to value that thing more.