There is almost nothing more exciting than the beginning of a new relationship.
You really like someone and you're starting to allow yourself to dream about it. You think, "Maybe I've finally found what I've been looking for."
You see everything that's right about this guy, all the reasons it should work out, and dream about how perfect it all is, hoping that it falls into place the way you imagine it will.
You really want to believe it and you are so excited by the hope of it, yet there is one question that is bothering you:
Does he feel the same way?
Before you let yourself go entirely, you want to know that it's not all for nothing. You've been hurt before and you're trying to learn from the mistakes of the past. You know all too well the pain of falling for someone who doesn't feel the same way and you don't want to fall into that trap.
You almost can't help but let your mind wander to those places and you wish you could know for sure.
Are you wasting your time here? Or is he really into you?
This is such an important question for you to ask before you give too much to any relationship, and there are some definite ways to know for sure. In this post, we're sharing the tell-tale signs that he's into you and wants more than just a fling.
First, is he willing to be exclusive?
Exclusivity is simply the decision you make together to say that we are not seeing anyone else because we want to give this relationship an honest chance to see where it can go.
Until you make that decision, you can't take any relationship too seriously.
The guideline we give is 3 months. That's how long it takes when you are consistently talking to and dating someone to decide if you want to be exclusive with them. It can take less time than that (and often does) but it doesn't take longer.
When a man wants to drag it on with no commitment, he is showing you that he doesn't want to be committed. He may have great reasons and justifications for why but it doesn't change the simple truth:
He doesn't want to commit to you.
The trap that you will likely fall into here is thinking that if you can just keep this going in a casual way, he will eventually see how great you are and change his mind. But if you've been down this road before, you know that doesn't usually work out.
There are men who want a relationship and men who don't. A man who does knows what he wants. If he is pushing off commitment he either doesn't want it or he doesn't want it with you.
That can be tough to face up to, especially if you really like him, but it's so important that you don't avoid this point. Not everything is meant to be and that's ok. What's not ok is trying to prove yourself to someone who is never going to make you happy.
You deserve someone who wants you now, not "possibly someday" in the future. Make that a requirement for yourself. Before you allow yourself to fall for someone, he needs to want to be with you enough to make it exclusive.
Until then, it's just an exploration.