What do you do when you've met a man that you really like, you really want to explore
things with him, and he's just coming out of a previous relationship?
You want to be excited about this, but you're also cautious. You've heard many people say that this never works out, you're just a rebound, he needs time to heal, and so on.
At the same time, you're not sure how true all of this is and there are many things about him that make you think it could work. You don't want to miss out on a potentially amazing man just because of some things you've heard.
So you really just want to know, "Is this a mistake or not? If I explore this, is it going to end well?"
And we wish we could give you a simple Yes or No answer, but like most things, it's not that easy.
In this post, we're going to give you some insight into how to navigate dating someone who's "fresh" out of a breakup and how to determine for yourself if this is a rebound or if he's real potential.
First, is there a right amount of time after ending a relationship?
The simple answer:
No, there's not.
Not all relationships are the same and not all people are in the same place when ending them so you have to look at this on an individual basis. Some people are completely devastated while others feel a sense of freedom and passion that they've been missing for years.
And certainly, we can find ourselves anywhere in between.
How much time someone needs before they are ready to move on depends on where that person is in their process.
Specifically, are they in a place of resistance or acceptance?
If they are in resistance to what is happening they most likely need time to heal and come to acceptance. Until they get there, anyone they get involved with will likely be a rebound.
As you consider this person, ask yourself: Are they in resistance to this breakup, or have they accepted it?
Some other questions to ask yourself are:
Emotionally, is he at peace or in turmoil?
Does he see the breakup as a positive thing and recognize that there are better things ahead or does he think it shouldn't have happened?
When you're together does he seem to be more interested in you or in his ex?
You should never put yourself in a position where you have to compete with anyone for his attention, especially not his ex. If he's not ready to have someone else become the most important woman in his life, then he's not ready for you.
As you consider this, it's so important to be honest with yourself. Remember that keeping him around isn't the goal, the goal is a truly fulfilling relationship. <