There's no doubt that the journey of finding and creating True Love is one of the most empowering you will ever take.
There is almost no experience in life that will force you to come face-to-face with the kind of drama that the modern dating scene does. Trying to face this without first being empowered in yourself, you can't help but be wrapped up in the drama and end up frustrated, defeated, and lonely.
We know the feeling well of looking for something authentic, a true connection--trust, intimacy, friendship--and all you seem to find is everything else. You want to fall in Love, but you've been hurt and you don't feel safe enough to let yourself out to anyone. And every time you try, you regret it.
The dating game can make you doubt that Love is even real or that it will ever happen for you but only when you approach it from a disempowered place. When you empower yourself first, dating becomes light, easy, fun, and enjoyable. You free yourself up to have fantastic experiences with different people as you make your way into the arms of the Love of your life.
Until you make this shift to freedom and fun, you will consistently attract unfulfilling relationships that result in frustrating dead ends.
In this post, we're going to share what it means to be empowered in dating and how you get there so you can start to bring excitement and passion back to your Love life and attract the kind of partner you're really looking for.
You Know What You Expect
You've probably had people tell you that you shouldn't have expectations. But when people say that, they're misunderstanding how expectations are used.
Placing expectations on people and trying to make them be who you want them to be is definitely an approach that will never end well for you--like when you want someone to be committed even though they're showing you how not committed they really are.
You don't want to place your expectations on people, but you do want to expect a certain kind of relationship and expect that someone else wants it too.
The secret is this: You let people be free to be whoever they want to be but if they make certain choices, they lose the opportunity to have a relationship with you.
That's called self-respect.
When you are disempowered, you're afraid to let people be themselves because they might reject you or hurt you so you attempt to force your expectations on them and make them choose what you want rather than what they want.
When you are empowered you don't need them to choose anything. You simply determine your boundaries and give them the opportunity to decide for themselves if they want to respect them.
You say, "This is my expectation for a relationship. If you want to be with me, this is the deal."
You aren't begging, or demanding, or diminishing yourself in any way. You are empowered in who you are and what you want, you know your value, and if they don't recognize it, that's their problem.
You Date With an Open Heart
Often when we think of being empowered in dating, we imagine it as being tough or overpowering someone else, but these are false ideas of power and they have no place in conscious dating.
It's not sexy and it doesn't invite people into a relationship.
The most attractive person is someone who makes you feel good when you're around them. It's when someone feels comfortable with you, they can open up and share themselves. This leads to great conversation and connection. People feel better after they see you and they look forward to seeing you again.
After you've been hurt in past relationships, you start thinking that dating is dangerous and you become guarded to protect yourself. When you meet someone, you meet them with your walls up and put on a show, trying to gain the upper hand in the relationship.
Down the road, when all the things you've been hiding from each other start to get revealed, you feel like you've been lied to and resent the other person for not being who you thought they were.
As long as you are still afraid of being hurt and you are trying to protect yourself, you will not allow for authentic connection and will continue to attract the kind of relationships where protecting yourself makes sense.
Being empowered means recognizing that you can heal from any pain that comes and that the connection you're looking for is so meaningful and beautiful that it is worth any pain you encounter along the way. It means growing through the pain rather than avoiding it.
Your true strength lies in your ability to rise to and overcome the challenges of your life. When you trust yourself enough to open your heart to others, you're on track for creating an Epic Love Story.
You Are Kind But Not Compromising
Being empowered means you're not afraid of your own feelings and therefore you don't have the insecure need to protect others from theirs. We're not suggesting you be rude and nasty to people, but to be honest and forthcoming in the kindest way possible.
When you're empowered, you don't lead people on, afraid to tell them you don't want to see them again. You don't blow them off or ignore them. You are honest with them about it. It's actually the kinder thing to do.
Your attempts to be nice are usually nicer to you than they are to the other person. The other person has to wonder what they did wrong, why you're not calling back or why you're blowing them off, and it's really all so you can avoid the discomfort of saying, "It's been great, but I don't want to take this any further."
Being empowered means holding people accountable. When someone says they're going to call you and they don't, you don't act like it never happened. You say something about it. You let them know your expectations--you want someone who will call when they say they are going to call.
Most people are afraid to hold someone they're dating accountable in this way because of how it will look to that person, that they'll seem needy or desperate, but being empowered means being more interested in the relationship you want than in the approval of the other person.
In reality, it's more desperate to not say anything about it, to be so afraid of how you'll look to them or of losing them that you let them walk all over you.
Yes, you are kind and compassionate, you genuinely care for others, and you do your best not to hurt anyone but that doesn't mean you settle for less or avoid honesty. Being able to bring this kind of power to dating is what will prepare you to do it in your relationship.
In dating, most people are not being very powerful.
Most people are either trying to gain power over others to overcompensate for their feelings of unworthiness or giving people power over them to reinforce those feelings.
Love is not found in either instance.
To create a conscious, Loving, and committed relationship is to empower yourself as a single person first. Being an empowered woman in dating is the first step to meeting an empowered man who will respect, honor, and appreciate you.
We've just shared what it looks like on the surface, but the real work begins on the inside. It begins by increasing your personal feelings of worthiness and confidence, and that's exactly where we start in our programs.
Wishing you lots of Love <3 Thanks for reading.
Thank you so much for enjoying our content! Our greatest joy comes from knowing that people like you are using it to transform their lives and relationships and that the world is becoming a better place because of it.
We know the feeling of being alone, of struggling through what seems like an endless series of dead-end relationships, of waiting for the phone to ring, of being rejected and let down again.
We know what it's like to go to bed alone each night wondering if that will ever change and fearing that it might not.
We know these experiences all too well and that is why we do the work we do. We want you to know that you can find Love, that just the application of these simple tools and practices can make a complete difference in every aspect of your Love life and ultimately lead you to the lifetime partnership you so deeply crave.
You're not in this alone. We're here for you <3
To join our next Live Presentation for free, click here.