When you meet someone you like, of course you want them to like you back.
Especially after you've hit it off once or a few times, you start to really want it to go somewhere. And if you're really into them, you imagine what it could be like when you're together and you start to dream about it.
You start to think that all your fantasies about True Love may finally come true.
And then the fear creeps in...
Do they like me as much as I like them?
Are they thinking about me right now?
Are they thinking about someone else?
Am I coming on too strong? Should I pull back?
All this inevitably leads you to one idea: How do I get them to like me?
And now you try to prove yourself. You try to show them how great you are, how great you could be together, and why they should pick you.
We call this the "Pick Me!" Mentality in dating, and it is one of the most destructive traps you can fall into. The moment you start to think that you want someone to pick you, you have given away all of your power and you're headed for disaster.
The worst thing about it is that it doesn't work at all. There's a universal rule that says the more you want someone, the less they want you.
But there's a profound truth that states that the more you know what you want regardless of anyone else, the more attractive you become to people who could give you what you want.
In this post, we're sharing why you NEVER need to prove yourself to anyone and how when you get free of this need, you instantly become more attractive, more fun, and dating becomes an entirely new game.
For Starters, the "Pick Me" Mentality Does Not Work!
When you want someone to be attracted to you, the worst thing you can do is to TRY to get them to like you.
Nobody is attracted to that.
Think back on your life, anytime someone tried to get you to like them--people who wanted a date, other kids at school, colleagues at work, whoever it was--and ask yourself, "How did I honestly see that person?"
Even if you thought of them kindly, you weren't attracted to them, and the more they tried to get your attention, the less attractive to you they became.
Simply put, wanting someone is not attractive. What's attractive is being an awesome person who has a fulfilled and joyful life, who is actively engaged with things and people that make their life better.
When you live your life that way, people are naturally attracted to you. They see that you're a quality person and you have too much going on to be worried about whether someone likes you or not.
You also understand that someone who doesn't appreciate you for who you are isn't really worth much of your time or attention anyway.
Now, we are in no way suggesting that you be inauthentic. We are actually suggesting that you be more authentic!